Saturday, November 8, 2008

Installing a Husband

My husband thought this should be posted. I didn't write it.
Dear Tech Support
,

This year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as
  • Romance 9.5 and
  • Personal Attention 6.5,
then installed undesireable programs
  • Rugby Union 5.0,
  • Friday Night Football 3.0 and
  • Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Household Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind,
  • Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
  • Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do for forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
  • Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program what will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not try to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
  • Cooking 3.0 and
  • Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck.

Tech Support

2 comments:

Lurline's Place said...

Mine needs to be defragmented!
Hugs - Lurline!

julieQ said...

Ha!! Wonderful!!!

Maukie - the virtual cat

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